Hey everyone! Seems like I’ve only gotten time to write a post every 6 months! I hope it has been a happening 2018 for everyone so far. Well, mine is..as dramatic as ever. I took a break from social dancing for 2 months sometime end of last year to give my legs the rest it deserves after all the injuries, and channelled my focus back to strengthening myself in the gym. Amidst of all these work stress and free time from dancing partly, I’ve never thought I’m gonna say this, I seek for emotional balance on…Tinder.
Before you have that thought, nope.. not in that way! That’s not how Honey rolls. When you tell someone you are on Tinder, people often think that “she/he must be up for hook up”, and “all the guys and girls there are not looking for anything serious”. Well, I can honestly tell you that there’re flies, but there’re also decent guys. I have friends who met on Tinder and they are planning to get married; a boss who just got married to his Tinder match. I met assholes on real life too, so it doesn’t take Tinder to meet bad guys.
I’m not a huge fan of the app nor believe in swiping stacks of digital pictures or catalogues to find that special someone. I occasionally swipe just for fun and there are a funny mix of decent, horny and crazy guys that sent me texts from Tinder and often times, having to entertain them overwhelmed me. I downloaded and deleted the app countless times. So, one fine weekend while I was alone at home, I downloaded Tinder again and went on swiping out of boredom. Within 5 minutes I deleted the app, cause’ I find it ridiculous, and downloaded it back 5 minutes after. I think I’m ridiculous! 🙂
29 years of my life, I’ve never thought I’ll actually do dates. Dating and relationships are the one aspect of myself that does not seem to go well for me. I wasn’t the kind of girl every boys will be interested in back in high school. This is the first time I actually put myself out there, out from my comfort zone, especially meeting people that I artificially swiped from a dating app.
The thing about Tinder is that most people abused the initial idea of the app which is designed for users to meet like-minded people, get to know each other and date. Instead they swiped faces to find men or chicks to spend a night with. Well, no judgement whatsoever. Everyone is there with different goals and reasons. If you decided to try Tinder, have no expectations. For us ladies, be smart, be vigilant and be safe. Don’t do anything that you are not comfortable with and go beyond your own principle.
I gave it a go because I thought if people like me (well, I’m nice..not lying!) are in the app, I’m sure I could find decent ones as well. True enough, 80% of my dates are decent and nice. Some, I kept in touch with as friends or online buddies. I do however met liars, guys who are only interested in hook ups, bad conversationalist, who convinced themselves that they don’t actually want just sex and care nothing else about you except for your sex life, who I clicked with but living in a different country, who I actually like but in a different page and who said trashy things at you because you don’t want to have sex with them. All kinds of men.
Finally, after 4 months of dates, I burned out. Going out for dates is total mental work in a loop for me. You repeatedly go out to get to know each other again and again. Asking the same question again and again. I never really did understand why people claim that we should go for lots of dates while you are young and I thought it was not necessary. Well, I gotta say, I’m quite wrong. You do not have to go for a lot of dates, but you have nothing to lose either if you get a chance to go for dates. Plus point, the perks of being a girl, you get your meals paid for if he is a gentleman. #JustSaying 🙂 I of course offered to pay for my own meal or treat the guy back if there’re more dates or hangouts.
Fact is, I positively learned a lot from these dates. I learned how to hold a conversation with a total stranger, spot a F***-Boy, learn what kind of guy I actually want to be with, and most importantly, learned about myself after sufficient amount of encounters with men.
Speaking from my own experience, ladies, NEVER let a guy disrespect, trash talk you, treat you like a sex tool and makes you feel bad about yourself for not wanting to have sex with them. I actually got myself questioning if there’s something wrong with me, but then I realised that NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME. In fact I have and know my self-worth; what I deserve. Just because the society makes sleeping around a NORM and I don’t fit in, that doesn’t make me WEIRD. Again, no judgement and there are no black and white to this. If you are comfortable with the other person, get the respect you deserves and want to have some fun, by all means..but just be safe.
For 3 months now I stopped Tinder-ing. Life’s been much focused on my own personal growth, cause that’s what all of us knows best and have in control; our own life. Mean time, let’s just hope that one day, I’ll meet that special someone who finds me his special someone too.