i previously felt disturb. somehow, bathing always helps me to think clearer. i feel much better now. i have been able to advise myself in a positive way again. i realized i have to put an end to my self-misery. life couldn’t go on like this. i had said what was in my heart, and what was in my mind, plenty of times, that i myself, sometimes sick of hearing myself saying that. whether or not it is going to be taken into account, it’s out of my control. when i come to think about it, i was being such a drama. i feel really stupid when i think about it, but it’s what i feel from the inside that drives me into being a drama queen. i don’t think it’s a crime right?
i had been pathetic, i knew it and i dislike it. and now i’m gonna make it stop. sometimes you don’t know why you say or do things. we just say it and do it, based on that current situation. what your heart says. words that are said, could not be taken back. funny, how words that are hurtful are much easier to remember. we all made mistakes, i made mine. but we learn from it. I am going to learn from it.
when someone’s in pain, or in trouble, we should not say “i understand” because you really don’t. even though you felt like you had put yourself in that someone else’s shoes when you give an opinion, it isn’t enough. it takes a real experience for you to understand what one is going through.
no one could understand what is going through your mind. if you tell someone about it, that person may understand what you are feeling and support you or he/she may be judging you and perhaps even think that you are pathetic, annoying and stupid. in my case of being emo and drama queen, judge me however you want, i just don’t care.
people has their ups and downs moment, and today, i had my down moment. i realize i gotta learn to adapt to the sudden change of environment. no matter what it is, no matter how hard it is, i have to adapt and get used to it, because that is the only way i could stay happy and positive. and that is how things are going to be for me, from now on. HAPPY & POSITIVE. ♥